It’s a very big day for my girls.
At ten we will head to a brand new dentist. A pediatric dentist this time, not my grown up dentist whom I love, but is impossible to get in to see. He is also way out in Durham and the mix of the waiting list and the drive made this move inevitable.
When I called this new dentist the woman on the telephone instructed me to arrive early for paperwork. Then she said, “You can wait and we’ll take the girls back.”
Oh, I thought. They’ll be going back without me?
My daughters are strong-willed and feisty, but going strange places without their mother does not happen without a fight. They are champions in the skill of temper fit throwing, too, and being a twin has its advantages in this sense. When a mom has one kid in the midst of a tantrum, she can pick that kid up and head for the hills. When a mom of twins is faced with a double temper fit it takes a lot of finagling to handle the mess. Often she ends up standing there and watching, eye rolling and apologizing to strangers, bribing and silently cursing. Deep breathing always helps, but can’t stop double trouble if they are deep in the zone.
I asked the woman on the phone if she was, “prepared for the tantrums.”
“Oh sure,” she said, “we see them every day, all day.”
In preparation, Sophie and Grace and I have been discussing the visit. I explained that it’s not a big deal. It will be like going to school where they high-five me at the door and then run off to play. There will be other kids in the office and they’ll all be opening their mouths wide and even getting x-ray pictures of their teeth to see underneath their skin.
“How cool is that!” I said.
“You can do it! You don’t need me! All big girls go to the dentist without their moms!”
And they won’t have me. It’s different from pre-school where I sat outside the door the first day and listened to them cry. I can’t peek through a window to make sure they really are okay. I must rely on them to be brave and strong and confident. I must rely on the lessons I’ve already taught them and wait and hope for good results.
It’s also the first adventure where each will have to rely on her sister for strength or hand holding or a hug.
I am excited for this part the most. I want them to lean on each other more than they do. They are lucky to have a twin, but they haven’t taken full advantage of the gift.
As an extra “motivator” the Playdough dentist game that is a constant commercial on Nickelodeon will be gifted upon their completion of this first really big girl moment.
I heard a quote once when I was pregnant that I am reminded of often.
It said, “When you are pregnant, your child belongs to you. Once they are born, they belong to the world.”
I’m handing my kids to the world today. It’s a big test that life has handed to us. I’m going to plaster a big old smile on my face as I watch them walk through the door to the other side.
They can do this.
I’m sure they can.
Will I be okay?
Of course, I will. I am their mother, after all, and this is what I signed up for!
The hub for all I do, marthawills.com documents life from a working mom's point of view. When not mothering, I manage the social media needs of small businesses through Wills Media Group, LLC, and write a weekly column for Raleigh's News & Observer online entitled, Are We There Yet? Most recently, my passion for health and wellness led me to become involved as a consultant for Beautycounter, a company that's making a difference by educating about toxins in products, spreading the word via the web.
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