Snooki had her baby and Twitter is tweet full of jokes, insults, worry and questions about the kind of mother she will be.
I get it. Watch just one episode of Jersey Shore and you’ll get it, too.
On the show, Snooki demonstrates extremes in the area of the most worrisome behaviors; tacky fashion, irresponsible inebriation, sex with strangers and (depending on how you look at it) sad or silly mischief.
The show was touted as reality, though the grown ups watching know the truth that though some of it was real, most of it was staged in order to appear that way.
I was young once myself.
I did tacky things like wear skin-tight dresses that showed too much skin. I wore much too much makeup. My heels were too high. My hair was perm fried. Tackiness personified as I look back today.
Irresponsible inebriation? There was lots of that. One time at the age of twenty (the same night I realized that the love of my life was gone and my broken heart would remain that way forever) a bottle of Jagermeister acted as my solace and my California blonde non- guido self spent the entire night heaving and puking in some strangers bushes.
There was a time in the eighties when hooking up with a boy didn’t mean much more than the certainty that he would hook up with my best friend the next night so that he could compare the two of us later. Irresponsible activity? To say the least.
Mischief is a part of being young. It’s a part of growing up and testing limits.
College kids everywhere (anyone remember Animal House?) decide how much of the party they will engage in while away from home for the first time. Some of us start the party earlier. Other kids have their heads on straighter and don’t party to extremes. Some actually graduate with their class (sorry, mom) and go on to semester after semester of mild partying and consistently good grades.
Some kids take longer to figure it out. Some kids are busy battling their own familial demons; struggling with things that childhood has caused (both good and bad).
From the other side all these years later (and now as a mom myself) I can see the irresponsibility so clearly. But the misfortune of youth is that when you are a teenager you think you know everything!
It’s your choices that determine the kind of person you are for that moment and when you decide to grow up and out of the denial that your every decision is wise (i.e. I’ll tell my mom I’m sleeping at your house and vice versa, Tijuana here we come!) you decide what kind of person you are really going to be.
I’m not any more worried about Snooki’s baby than I am for the average mom who is embarking on the biggest challenge of her life. Mom’s struggle for all sorts of reasons (baby won’t eat, baby won’t sleep, baby never stops crying), but Snooki has a better chance than many.
She has made a career for herself that has monetarily been good.
She has parents who love and support her.
She carried a pregnancy that resulted in a healthy baby.
For those who do not know, she was adopted as a baby herself, and so this new child is the first biological person to whom she’s ever been connected. I have been there myself and it’s an unbelievable situation that results in tremendous care and love.
And good or bad, the world is watching and waiting for her to make mistakes. We will hear about it the first time she goes out without baby and we’ll know the day the media feels she’s lost enough “baby weight.”
I think we should give this woman (she is 24) a chance and wish her the very best.
And try to remember that past choices don’t cement in stone the ones for the future.
For all new mothers, those whose lives have been documented on reality t.v. and those whose faces never grace our television screens, we should be rooting for the best.
They (and their children) deserve it.
The hub for all I do, marthawills.com documents life from a working mom's point of view. When not mothering, I manage the social media needs of small businesses through Wills Media Group, LLC, and write a weekly column for Raleigh's News & Observer online entitled, Are We There Yet? Most recently, my passion for health and wellness led me to become involved as a consultant for Beautycounter, a company that's making a difference by educating about toxins in products, spreading the word via the web.
Top Posts & Pages
Recent MediaMy Latest photosSigerson Morrison. Gorgeous, but made me walk like a camel. #fashion #smashionmerrillmartha21Just a couple of divorced girls! I 💝 @laurenshamblinmerrillmartha60They've circled everything in the catalog, and initialed just to sure I get it straight. #americangirldoll #crazy #kidsmerrillmartha81Hangin' out in the girls' bathroom before school. #kids #lovemerrillmartha71Mom: So pretty! Me: Pretty toxic! #health #wellness #beautymerrillmartha00Gracie Girl riding Sport. #birthday @deadbrokehorsefarmmerrillmartha50