I feel like I should be writing in a whisper, not normally the emotion as I type.

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of whirly experiences, which I’m keeping very close.

This is a terrible place to be for a writer; to have words that sit still, because I can’t figure out how to make them unlock.

The biggies (like love and sex) are stuck in my brain.

The importants (like kids and yoga) breathe energy into my life, but not my work.

Fashion seems frivolous.

I’ve no appetite to boot (this is a good thing).

What I can say, and share, is that my friends have never felt more important to my life. They pull me back to Earth, right as I’m determinedly floating off somewhere far, far away. They’ve surprised me by sharing some of their own secrets. The non-judgementalness of those I’ve chosen makes me sure that I’m blessed.

Eventually. When I look back at this time in my life in visual form (which is how I do) I will see myself as a red balloon. My friends, the many, many strings grabbing hold of my tight, stretched underbelly.

And I’ll know that despite the confusion of these days, they were the one and only thing that made perfect sense.

M.

None of this is to imply that I’m not happy, or doing well. Being stretched thin while trying to find your life is a very complicated job. 

We brought home two enormous balloons from cousin James' birthday party yesterday. At dinnertime we went looking for the red one that had seemed to disappear. We found it hiding up in the eaves of The Elms. Another sign? Ever since I saw The Red Balloon in college, I always wonder what a red balloon is trying to tell me.

 

4 Responses to Strings of Friends

  1. Tara says:

    You are so loved by so many! Maine is for me the sisters I never had and always wanted. It’s a big extended family of non-judgement.
    Divorce and the holidays I can only imagine is perhaps the most complicated time of year, happy,sad everything. Deep Breath! Your future will be very bright, hang in there :)

    • Martha Merrill Wills says:

      I feel very loved. It’s the strangest thing, because I am full of hope, but sometimes it’s a lot of wheel spinning. Keep feeling like january will be when things fall into place. Oh…p.s. I’m dating, which complicates matters, too, but very worth it! :)

  2. Yes. I absolutely get this. I feel like many of us have lots of things floating around and lots of possibilities – which is scary and exciting. Friends do help to bring me back down to the ground.
    Christine @ Love, Life, Surf recently posted…Snowy Morning Run and Still BelievingMy Profile

  3. ilene says:

    Love and sex stuck in the brain? I have a post in my drafts folder right now entitled “10 reasons you don’t want to date me.” To publish or not to publish? That is the question.
    ilene recently posted…A Million Little ThingsMy Profile

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