To get the email saying I didn’t get the job would have been a harder, bitter, more awful pill to swallow had I not moments later received a text from my sister, my birth sister, reminding me that today marks the three year anniversary of our “divine” meeting… fourteen year’s of searching had ended….she had found me, her baby twin.

It’s hard sometimes to put things in God’s hands and say, “Okay. I have faith. I believe. I trust.” I often don’t like giving up that power to a being that has never fully convinced me of His existence. I don’t see God with my eyes. Do I even feel him in my heart?

What I do feel, what many of us who aren’t so sure about Mr. God feel, is the tangible power of the Universe. I see the sky and the stars. I feel the pull of the ocean tides. The ground beneath my feet changes with the seasons. So, too, do the trees, the air, the weather. The Universe; the sum of everything that cradles us and controls, despite our efforts to believe we are the ones in control, is much easier to accept than a God whom I’ve never seen.

Gabby found me in what she calls “God’s perfect timing.”

I didn’t get the job. I haven’t found the house. I float like a vessel without a destination. But I understand today that there is peacefulness in that place. The universe has my back.

And things will happen in their time.

M.

What say you?

photo-40

Yesterday, the girls and I built a fairy house. Like Gabby’s God, and my Universe, my daughters believed that once it was built the fairies would sleep under the leaf canopy, atop of the rock with the pillow made of moss. If you believe it, it is real.

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5 Responses to God’s Perfect Timing?

  1. Oh yes. This? “I often don’t like giving up that power to a being that has never fully convinced me of His existence. I don’t see God with my eyes. Do I even feel him in my heart?” Exactly how I feel. I have a very hard time with it, I think stemming from losing my father at such a young age, but I’m coming to believe in the Universe. I’m sorry about the job but it means that something better is on its way.
    Christine @ Love, Life, Surf recently posted…Apera Bags Review and GiveawayMy Profile

    • Martha Merrill Wills says:

      You were right…. something much better came along! And, yes, losing our dads so young…it definitely makes a person question God.

  2. ilene says:

    Honey, if you can find the peace while you float around like a vessel then you are golden. There are SO MANY THINGS I have not gotten that I have wanted so. All for good reason. This post reminds me of that. xxxooo
    ilene recently posted…Maybe This Could Be BigMy Profile

  3. Patience is the hardest thing to learn, but I have learned that you find a peace when you trust. I’m glad you sound content for now:)

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