Bookish Life of Libra

February 6, 2013 § 4 Comments

I’ve come to believe that I do not choose books.

Instead, the books choose me, or rather, the Universe picks the books, which in turn pick me.

When I look at the list of the last year’s reads, their purpose is so obvious (if it weren’t so late I’d go into all of that).

Today, my Libran curse, the zodiac sign that I was delivered into at birth, tipped and teetered on its metaphorical and literal scales.

Indecisiveness was painfully present. Do I run? Do I write? Do I cry? Do I smile? Do I believe? Do I quit?

Even the weather acted like a Libra, asking, “Is it winter? Is it spring?”

The biting cold morning turned just beautiful by mid-afternoon; freezing again when I went to collect the mail at sun-down.

In my headphones, I steadied myself by listening to the Life of Pi, by Yann Martel.

Chapter 16 was so illuminating, describing God and the Universe and religion and the answers, that I rewound and replayed it twice.

Piscine (the narrator and protagonist) decided (as a boy), to become a practicing Christian, Muslim and Hindu.

Upon discovery of this, his wise men, men with whom he’d secretly built relationships, who had taught him their ways, told him that he couldn’t be all three, that they have nothing in common, and that it was impossible for them to be practiced together.

And yet Piscine felt strongly that they could be; he loved God and wanted to know God, choosing to be Christened in church, praying to Allah on a small, rolled-out floor rug, and continuing to feel at home in Hindu temples like the first one his mother took him to as a baby.

He was not indecisive about this, the most sacred understanding.

In all of today’s Libran swaying, it was the only thing that made any sense at all.

How can that be?

M.

Do you choose books or do they choose you? Have you read Life of Pi?

LIBRA Zodiac Astrological Sign, 8x10 Indie Libra Constellation Art Print / Horoscope Poster "Libra" Birthday Gift, Libra Sign

Libra sign by Susana Parada at Etsy.

Maybe Buddhism

June 21, 2012 § 11 Comments

I was told that my chances of getting published are slim to none.

I was urged to have a backup plan.

Everyone is entitled to an opinion.

I don’t have a journalism degree.

The only professional who has ever told me that my writing was any good was my Seventh grade tutor, and really, she was being paid by my parents.

I have not been paid for my writing; have not made five cents in this endeavor.

It’s not about the money, friend.

It’s about passion. It’s about love. It’s about the need to express, so that I don’t go mad.

Mad as in crazy.

I have enough mad as in mad. Oh, you made me mad as in mad. It’s like that button has your name on it. It’s reserved especially for you.

Which makes me wonder.

I can’t control you or what you think or your lack of vision. I can’t make you see what I see.

I can only control how I react when that button gets pushed.

And I don’t like how I felt inside and how the blood under my skin started to boil and my anger at your belittment seethed. It felt like a simultaneous punch to the heart and gut and my writer’s spirit will not allow that kind of repugnancy and so my mouth flew open and the words spit themselves out.

Yes, it’s my protection. No, it isn’t right.

This is a character flaw. It’s why I have to write.

God can’t help me. Therapy can’t change me. My soul needs to understand how your mean cannot affect me.

I googled Buddhism and came across this.

It seems to encompass so many of the things that I need and it very well might be the path that leads to my enlightenment.

Since life is a journey and Rome wasn’t built in a day, this day I’ll focus on a moving image  on constant rotation in my house as a child. Barbra Streisand’s Funny Girl spoke to me then as she does now.

Don’t tell me not to fly, I’ve simply got to. If someone takes a spill it’s me and not you. Who told you your allowed to rain on my parade!

A Visit From My Sister

March 29, 2012 § 9 Comments

 

My sister converted to Islam less than four years ago.

I hadn’t seen her since my girls were a month old and our relationship has been tumultuous as she’s transitioned into her new life.

I was scared for her.

I didn’t understand why she would choose something that was so misunderstood in our country. I viewed the head covering as an adverse action toward the rights of women. I was confused and worried. I thought only the worst.

Her new life is simple and busy. Her children are happy and healthy.

She’s happy, which is all anyone wants for the people they love.

I asked lots of questions of her and her husband, a Bangladeshi Imam. Once I got past his dress I found him to be a genuinely lovely person. He’s a good father. His beliefs are not so different from some of my own.

So, what was I really scared of?

The unknown?

They left this morning and I got call from Peach as soon as they drove away.

There were no tears. It was a good trip.

I think we are all relieved.

Me and My Sister.

Where Am I?

You are currently browsing entries tagged with religion at Martha Wills.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox

Join other followers:

%d bloggers like this: